Little Wall Lake in Shock! Mobsters, Mayhem, and Mystery at JADE Spring Fundraiser!

You're invited to this year's JADE Spring Gala ~ Murder on Little Wall Lake Casino

Forget the spring blooms, folks! This year’s JADE Spring Gala is promising a blooming murder! Little Wall Lake is about to become a hotbed of intrigue, scandal, and possibly, a floating casino. Yes, you read that right.

The tranquility of our beloved lake is threatened by the arrival of none other than Stanhope’s own Dom D. Dahmdan, a mob boss whose gambling empire is apparently sinking faster than a cement-shoed snitch. He’s brought his entourage, including the dazzling (and possibly dangerous) Trixie DeLighte, and the “gentle” giant, Boobles D. Henchman. They’re here to “partner” with our esteemed community leaders, and by “partner,” we mean “build a riverboat casino or else!”

Our own Mayor Fred Flipflappah, known for his decisive… indecisiveness, is reportedly “considering” the proposal, while his ambitious Chief of Staff, Jean Gordon Piddley, is building miniature riverboats and dreaming of a life less boring. Chamber President Suzie Sunshayne, ever the optimist, sees dollar signs and jobs, conveniently ignoring the minor detail of draining Ditch 71 and displacing either the Hamilton County campers or the residents of Little Wall Lake Drive.

But fear not, concerned citizens! Our local eco-warrior, Bruce Hammers, is ready to fight for our pristine waterways, armed with… well, probably a sternly worded pamphlet and a kayak.

This thrilling saga will unfold live at the 4th Annual JADE Spring Fundraiser, presented by Stratford Communications, on Saturday, April 5th, at the Jewell Golf Course. Yes, that’s right, while you’re enjoying a delicious JA Concrete dinner (brisket and chicken DeBurgo, yum!) and bidding on questionable desserts with Lynn Byer as your celebrity auction, someone will be meeting a watery grave!

“We’re thrilled to bring our unique brand of customized chaos to Jewell,” said a spokesperson for Murders 4 Fun (or is it Murders 4 Hire? We’re not sure). “Our original murder mysteries are special experiences for our audiences because we customize every single production to each client! And this one is going to be a real splash!”

Tickets are a mere $75, which includes two drink tickets for the American Sanitation Cocktail hour and a front-row seat to the most dramatic event in Little Wall Lake history. Will Dom D. Dahmdan get his casino? Will Mayor Flipflappah finally make a decision? And most importantly, who will be swimming with the fishes?

Don’t miss out! Buy your tickets online before they’re all… drowned. 

Ticket Sales Close on Saturday, March 29th. bit.ly/JADESpringGala